Saturday, 1 December 2012

BROMAGEDDON- The Aftermath

The 29th November 2012 was a day that changed the face of boxing. All of the hype and tension, and the long winding road of preparation ended, and the harsh reality of the situation set in: Bromageddon had come. With an undercard of four fights, and then of course a main event that would have Jesus Christ himself baying for blood, the stage was set for the most epic of charity fundraisers. This wasn't a three mile run, it wasn't a let's get pelted with wet sponges, this my friends was utter carnage.

The day started no different to any other, with almost all members of the B.B.A (Bucktringham Boxing Association), including two of the fighters, waking up to a solid hangover and the prospect of putting together a ring capable of confining the destruction that was to come. Fear not though faithful followers, by 1:00pm the ring had been set up and the fans were flocking in. With an estimated crowd of around 65 people, the Tring Arena was near full capacity, and what a spectacle it was about to hold.

UNDERCARD 1. Olly 'The Illustrated Blind Solid Silver Bitch' Rogers vs Patrick 'Frape' O'Connor

Speculation was rife with this one about the feasibility of a potential upset, and whether or not O'Connor could back up his large boasts. Unfortunately, there was no surprises. A bout that was earlier described as being the equivalent to a bear chasing a goat around a small room played to the script as though it had been written by Shakespeare. O'Connor came out swinging early and caught Rogers with a number of heavy blows, all of which hit their mark. As Rogers backed away, he invited his opponent on to him and my oh my did he oblige. A few devastating hooks and Rogers was left reeling, clamouring to get away from the onslaught. There was one brief moment where O'Connor was caught with a flailing right cross from the retreating Silver Bitch, and was momentarily stunned. However, the rest of the fight, which lasted a grand total of 48 seconds, was dominated by the far heavier man. On this particular day, George did not slay the dragon, David did not beat Goliath, and Rogers, although proving his valour and courage, was soundly destroyed. 

UNDERCARD 2. Harry 'The Pikey' Brown vs Oliver 'The Wolf'' France

The first serious fight of the day saw the tall, hot-headed Brown face off against The Wolf, who had spent a lot of hours in the training room (his garage). The fight immediately picked up a fast tempo, with Brown throwing hayemaker after hayemaker in an attempt to finish the fight early. France however stuck well to his game plan in drawing in the big punches, and then having the common sense and mobility to steer well clear of them before throwing his own counters. For brief spells the two slugged at each other, but for the main part the fighting was clean and well coordinated. In the second round The Pikey began to tire, and those shuddering right hands became more like wild swings. France tactically used this to his advantage and managed to land a number of good combinations. At the beginning of the third it looked as though the fight could go either way. With both Brown and France flagging in terms of stamina, one big hook or clever combination could have ended it there and then. Both men however stayed true to their desire to win and battled on, with each of them eating numerous heavy blows. In this round France managed to get more shots in as The Pikey referred back to what appeared to his only game plan: throw as many heavy punches as you can and vaguely aim for his head. As the fight drew to a close and a decision looked on the cards, Brown's fatigue and restricted game plan combined to signal his downfall. As he threw yet another bomb towards The Wolf, his opponent was sleek enough to duck under it and throw his own right hand, which found its way straight into Brown's mouth. With this gums in tatters, The Pikey could not go on and so threw in the towel with 20 seconds left on the clock. A battle of brain vs brawn if ever there was one, but on this encounter, brain triumphed. 

UNDERCARD 3- Tom 'Vidic' Hancox vs Matt 'Matt Green' Green

The only all-Spartan fight of the day threw up the exciting prospect of Matt Green in a ring attacking his own social sec. As the bell rang Green came charging out of the blocks with a point to prove, laying it on thick with his right and left hooks and leaving Hancox with little to do but cover up and wait for the barrage to end. Eventually it did and Vidic was able to come into the fight, ducking and weaving to avoid Matt Green's heavy hands, and throwing as many punches as he could. In the first round Vidic appeared to go down, but this was registered as a slip rather than Green's handywork. As the bout went on, and both men began to lose their initial vigour, Vidic began to slip in the better shots, though Green seemed to walk right through them. With less than ten seconds left of the first round Green was caught with a flurry of punches, the final two being a jab, cross combo that were enough to send him to the grass. He recovered however, and after the bell, was afforded a little time in which to get his sense back together. Round 2 started much like the 1st, with Matt Green looking to land big heavy blows, and being the more aggressive of the pair, whilst Vidic recoiled, occasionally throwing shots of his own. Thus was the script until mid-way through the round, where Vidic landed a succession of punches that seemed to daze his combatant. Green was checked by referee Michael Panter, and allowed to continue, though this was only a temporary luxury. Once more he was clocked by a sharp jab to right cross combo and staggered. The bout was finished, and although Green fought with pride, he was ultimately defeated by the more careful and accurate puncher in Vidic. 

UNDERCARD 4- Detroy 'The Predicament' Henry vs Sunny 'The Situation' Gujadhur

A lot was expected from this bout, with it being contested by the only two fighters of the day who actually knew what they were doing. As was the case with all the others, this one did not let the fans down. The first round started with Henry using his extensive reach advantage and Gujadhur being forced to tuck into a tight guard and attempt to weather the storm. As the seconds ticked by however, The Predicament began to lose steam, and this allowed the energetic Gujadhur to come back with powerful shots of his own. At the end of the first bell, both men had taken their share of the beatings, but Henry seemed to have landed the more clinical jabs. The second round progressed much in the same suit, with Henry having his moments of dominance, but his opponent also pressing himself. One clean punch seemed to find its way through Gujadhur's guard and into his nose, and the blood began to run, although it did not stop him from trying to find his way past Henry's reach. The third round was also tightly contested, as both men began to display signs of slowing down. Eventually the fight was called to a halt, and the vote went to crowd who, by way of random voting, chose Detroy in the majority decision as their winner. This was as close as Bromageddon got to a boxing masterclass, and was a clear example of the skill and determination of both fighters.

MAIN EVENT- Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney vs William 'Sharkstrike' Jones

This was the one that everyone had been waiting for, the fight that would determine the answer to the ultimate question: Killarney or Jones? Killarney chose to walk in in the style of boxing legend Wladimir Klitschko to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers' 'Can't Stop', and it was greeted by numerous cheers from the crowd, whose contribution it must be said, was commendable. Bad boy Jones was welcomed with slightly less fervour, and there were even a few boos to be heard ringing around the Tring Arena as he entered the ring with his coach and brother, Daniel Jones in tow.

No sooner had the bell rang, both men threw themselves in at the deep end. Jones seemed to adopt the famous 'crazy fists' style, flailing hooks left right and centre at the slightly more composed Killarney, who kept his head down and attempted to land his own blows. Both men seemed to be brimming with not only adrenaline, but with the desire and passion to knock their opponent out and prove once and for all who was the better fighter. As the round wore on, Jones's stamina began to deteriorate and The Ginger Rapscalian was able to take a hold on the bout, landing a number of deft blows that had the crowd on their feet, expecting a knock down. It must be said that for every punch The Sharkstrike took, he seemed increasingly eager to land his own. Coming to the end of the first round though, Jones was caught with a straight right which, coinciding with an accidental slip, sent him crashing to the floor. The crowd went wild, and for a few seconds as Jones cut a dejected figure sitting on the seat of his shorts, it looked as though Killarney had finished it within the first round. The Sharkstrike however rose defiantly and as the bell rang to signal the end of the first period, looked ready to continue.
The Sharkstrike & The Ginger Rapsclian during the first round of their championsip bout. 

Following some harsh words from his cornerman Nick 'Granddad' White about not keeping his eyes glued down at the floor, Killarney came out to meet a sudden and unexpected onslaught from Jones, which had everyone questioning where the new found energy had come from. Hook after hook pummelled against Killarney's guard before he was able to pressure Jones enough into halting his barrage. The round then evened up, with The Ginger Rapscalian cautiously looking for gaps in Jones's defence, whilst his opponent continued to send his arms flying with whatever strength he could muster. At one point, Killarney's legs looked to buckle, and it almost sent him to the ground after a punishing flurry by Sharkstrike, but the red topped brawler managed to maintain his composure, stay on his feet and clinch up in order to get breath.

With the beginning of the third round lacking the same display of reckless bravado as the previous two, it became clear that both men were running low on stamina. Jones in particular was so tired that instead of putting his guard up to defend his face, he was eating all of the jabs thrown his way. Then the moment came, the moment every paying fan had been waiting to see, and the moment that would be etched into the history books forever more. Jones, who had been quiet all round, decided to give it one last charge and began another fiery assault on his opponent, who ducked and weaved away trying to escape. Then out of nowhere, The Ginger Rapscalian managed to find a bit of space and caught Jones on the chin with a solid right hand. Jones was sent sprawling to the ropes and after another couple of shots from Killarney, fell to earth with a whirling thud. He failed to beat the count and his trainer threw the towel in, signalling victory for Killarney, who was lofted into the air like the champion he had become.
Killarney is hoisted into the air following his TKO of Sharkstrike Jones in the 3rd round

Jones proceeded to drink half a pint of Killarney's urine, but did so in fine fashion. Afterwards the duo embraced each other and admitted that at the end of it all they were still brothers, not enemies.

 On behalf of the B.B.A, we would like to thank all of the fans who came to watch the action, and contributed to make a whopping £103 pounds for charity, which all things considered isn't too bad for 5 illegal backyard boxing matches. Special thanks also to referee Michael Panter, ring announcer Jack Fawdry, who was exemplary in his duties, and to all the others who made the day as special as it was. Most of all however, we would like to congratulate and give thanks to all of the fighters on the day, who were spectacular both in victory and defeat. The courage it takes to step into a boxing ring in front of a 70 strong crowd of people, is underestimated. Respect goes out to all of you. Now for the video, which is currently being edited into a proper feature. See you all at Bro Way Out, sometime next year.
From left to right: Matt 'Matt Green' Green, Tom 'Vidic' Hancox, Oliver 'The Wolf' France (crouching), Olly 'TIBSSB' Rogers, Patrick 'Frape' O'Connor, Sunny 'Situation' Gujadhur, Detroy 'The Predicament' Henry, Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney, William 'Sharkstrike' Jones, Harry 'The Pikey' Brown.
THE FIGHTERS OF BROMAGEDDON 2012


Tuesday, 27 November 2012

COUNTDOWN- 2 Days to Go. Full Recap and EVENT INFO

It's been a rough and winding path to Bromageddon, but its now just around the corner, and the tensions could not be higher. With all of the bouts scheduled, and almost all the fighters settled into a mediated rhythm of practise, the day is setting up to be one filled with blood, sweat and urine. It's now time to have a quick look back over the past couple of weeks, and an even quicker glance toward the future, where bonds may be broken forever.

Almost on the eve of the fight, Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney and William 'Sharkstrike' Jones have shown no sign of letting up on their barrage of abuse to one another. The pair have been no strangers from the media, and have frequently been snapped out enjoying themselves when their attitudes towards one another would suggest otherwise. As recently as last Saturday the dynamic duo were caught facing off with one another inside a London nightclub, having to be separated ironically by fight day judge, Michael Panter.
The pair are separated in a London club.

The S.S & TGR pose pre-fight
As for the verbal threats, we've heard them all before, and now its time for both men to let their fists do the talking come Thursday afternoon. It must be added here, for all those who may have missed the first post, or are just generally slow, the loser of the Main Event of Bromageddon will be beveraging a pint of the victors urine. There will be no apple juice stand ins, no tricks or editing wizadry: anyone who is a paying spectator, will see either Jones or Killarney gulping down hearty amounts of piss. If that's not enough to get you to come along, then the undercard might be able to wet your appetite enough to convince you. (No pun intended.)

The highly anticipated, if not thoroughly unfair match up between the heavyweight Patrick O'Connor and the pixie-man that is Olly Rogers, has been confirmed as the first fight of the day. For fans wishing to see what could quite be the most brutal beating of a man since Nick 'Granddad' White attacked the floor in Salou, the first fight on the undercard will be taking place at approximately 12:45 midday. The gates to the Tring Arena will open between 12:00 and 12:15 for anyone wishing to see this first bloodthirsty spectacle. Rogers, who seems confident in his own abilities to pull off a genuine miracle, is the underdog here. Anyone saying differently has never seen O'Connor.
Oliver France works hard in his garage
in preparation for Harry 'Moody' Brown

After a short interval we will resume proceedings with an all Ranger fight. The original pairing of Matt Grange and Harry 'Moody' Brown had to be called off due to an unexpected injury on Grange's part, but he was replaced in exemplary fashion by Oliver France. France, who comes up against mad-dog Moody giving away a massive height advantage, has reportedly been on a ridged training regime since the fight was confirmed. Moody on the other hand, according to a close source, "beat up a mattress for three minutes then said 'fuck this, I need a fag'." Nevertheless, this bout could well go the distance, but then again could end up in an unforgiving knock out. Only time will tell. 

The next fight on the cards is that of Matt 'Matt Green' Green and Tom 'Vidic' Hancox. Another mouth-watering contest, Vidic will concede height and weight against the man dubbed by main eventer William Jones as 'The Bristolian Retard with a belly full of lard', but will under no circumstances be prepared to give anything else. Defeat for Vidic could destroy what little reputation he has, and with Matt Green renowned for his eccentric tales and stories, unless the world wants to hear for the next hundred years how he fought a dragon and then beat Hancox up with his arms down a rabbit hole, its probably within everyone's best interests that Vidic does his job. 

The last fight leading up to the main event sees Sunny 'Situation' Gujadhur face off against the towering Detroy 'The Predicament' Henry. By this point in the day the crowd should well and truly be baying for blood, so expect both men to be under immense pressure, With vicious hooks and powerful jabs, this one looks like it should be decided by a knock-out, though we here at BPTV still don't know which way to call it. 

Then of course, hopefully around 3:00pm we should head toward the main event: The Sharkstrike vs The Ginger Rapscalian, the southerner vs the boy from the midlands. A pint of piss for the loser, eternal glory for the winner, and the fight that made all of Bromageddon possible. This fight ladies and gentlemen, you will tell tales of to your grandchildren. Unless of course you were fighting in previous rounds and have been rendered infertile, which is a serious possibility in the first fight. If for nothing else, if not for charity, if not for the undercard, if not for the sheer entertainment factor, then roll up roll up and see these two rivals fight literally for their reputations and social lives. Bonds will be Broken. 


TICKET PRICES:

Box Seat- An aerial view of our neighbours luxurious garden, and of course the fight. These seats start at £2.50 but the price may rise if the demand is too high as we only have a limited number of seats. Guests will be treated to a gravelly arse courtesy of our roof, and possible frost bite thanks to the atmospheric winds, but will have potentially the best seats in the house. Don't be fooled by the term 'Box Seats', this is not V.I.P. But in effect its the next best thing.

Ringside Seat- A more grounded view of the events. Seats start at £2.00 but once again may be called into a bidding war if demand becomes high enough. Guests will be at the front row of the action, close enough literally to take a punch in the face (this is a serious possibility) and get soaked up in the action, and sweat. These seats are recommended for pregnant women, people with disabilities, or people who literally don't want to miss the fighters getting knocked out punch by punch. 

Standing- The paupers choice. As uni students we expect many of the rif raf to be in this section. Price is £1 only and for that you have the benefit of standing in our shitty, muddy, leaf filled back garden, whilst the cold wraps you in its freezing embrace, and you slowly drift off into a hypothermia-induced sleep. You'll still get to watch the fight though, don't worry. 

Remember, all money is going to the charity Movember so don't try and cheat the system you scumbags, we wouldn't even expect that from Jones. We don't take card, or unfortunately beer, as payment. You must bring cash.

TIMES: 

As previously stated, gates (our front doors) open at 12:00. The first fight of the undercard will commence around 12:45, and then the other fights will go on after a short interval and so on and so on. If you don't want to miss anything then ensure you're there on time, but of course if you only want to see the main event then tip up at whatever time you think is right.

MESSAGE TO FIGHTERS
All fighters must ensure they have a gum-shield, you will not be allowed to fight without one. Apart from that, bring a towel to soak up your bodily fluids, and good luck you crazy bunch. Let Bromageddon commence!

Keep an eye out for the last Face-Off interview which will air tomorrow afternoon/ evening.










The

Friday, 23 November 2012

COUNTDOWN- 6 Days to Go: UPDATE

Boxing fans everywhere are gearing up for the biggest event of the year, which is now less than a week away. Bromageddon promises to be a sell out at the debuting 'Tring Arena' and has already attracted the attentions of tens of fans. With the recent outbursts from Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney and William 'Sharkstrike' Jones at the forefront of BPTV, its time to have a look at how the event's Undercard is shaping up.

The David and Goliath struggle between the BBA's (Bucktringham Boxing Association) commissioner Patrick 'Frape' O'Connor and Olly 'The Illustrated Blind Solid Silver Bitch' Rogers seems to be in full flow now, with original speculation that the sheer size difference would make the fight impossible, being proved unfounded. Whilst O'Connor remains hell bent on knocking Rogers, who is practically a third of his weight, into the ground and is so confident that he has committed himself to no training at all. Rogers himself on the other hand is clinging onto the notion of being the under dog, with the emphasis being on the under rather than the dog, which could imply he can defend himself. When asked by a fan if was ready for the 'showdown', 'Frape' responded with "Beatdown. You must mean the beatdown." 

Olly Rogers & Patrick O'Connor go face to face after a chance meet
in a London nightclub
Rogers has managed to surprise many quarters with his optimism. He released this statement to BPTV reporters earlier: "A lot of people call my a psycho, a nutter, a headcase... But there's a lot more to my game than just hitting people. I mean, its all well and good being passionate, but you gotta know how to control it." He then went on to add, "Will I win? You trying to fucking wind me up?" 

In other news, the heavyweight match-up between Harry 'Moody' Brown and Matt 'No Name' Grange was forced to a complete halt as Grange suffered a deep gash in his finger at a house party in an unknown location. Sources close to the fighter said he was trying to "be a gent" and open a bottle of wine. Instead another challenger has stepped forward to face Brown, who is known for his wild temper. Come Thursday 29th, The  Ginger Rapscalian's fellow brummy Oliver France will now step into the ring, even though he is conceding a good few inches in height. He has yet to comment on his decision. 

Perhaps the biggest news of the day however is the speculation running rife about one more possible contest being added to the undercard  If the rumour mill is to be believed then Saajan 'Joey' Suman and Paul 'Baby P' Burgess have penned a deal to fight at Bromageddon, with Suman commenting "that fat shit I'll knock him out, bet on me playa." If this latest addition does come to fruition, it will complete a fight card with six bouts and will surely be yet another mouth-watering clash, with rude boy Burgess surely wanting to silence the dim-witted Essex man. 
Eye of the Tiger: Saajan 'Joey' Suman might feature at Bromageddon after a late entry.


Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Camp Sharkstrike- "I will sue"

With little over a week to go until Bromageddon, William 'Sharkstrike' Jones has sensationally hit out at the media, namely BPTV, branding them as libellous and stating that he isn't afraid to sue for the way he has been portrayed in recent interviews.

I'm a Boozer: Jones proves a point as he's snapped in the VIP lounge of a club;
the media had previously stated that he did not drink.
Jones, who is widely regarded as the underdog for the bout, was quoted in saying "I'm going to fucking sue, they said that I didn't drink 24/7. That's libel." Its unclear how long it will take Mr. Jones to realise that when something potentially defamatory is spoken, it is in fact slander, not libel, but no doubt all media outlets are now quaking in their boots at the thought of the Sharstrike bringing legal action against them, even if his claims are slightly absurd.

The incident in question is related to Jones's opponent, The Ginger Rapscalian's first one on one interview with the press, in which a question was raised about his excessive drinking habits. What followed was a statement from the interviewer, Michael Panter, which highlighted the fact that Jones is known for his long withdrawals from alcohol. Surely when concerning a fighter in the build up to the biggest event of his life, this would be considered a complement, right? William Jones in his ultimate wisdom thinks otherwise.

Punching above his weight: A drunk Jones causes trouble in a club.


The silver-spooned southerner has already threatened to completely block interactions with BPTV, therefore rendering himself isolated from any fans he might have. He was also quoted in saying "I will call off the fight. I don't need this, it needs me." So far we're unaware how serious these specific ramblings are, but with Bromageddon just around the corner, and the majority of the paying fans baying for blood, it looks to be in Jones's best interests to ensure that he is stepping into the ring, even if it is to get knocked straight out of it.

 Aggression flares as he confronts a cushion
Coming away from speculation about potential court cases, Jones hasn't exactly been on the straight and narrow in terms of his personal preparation. Known for his potty-mouth, it seems that he's not content with waiting until Thursday 29th to fight someone, being snapped in a number of photos venting his aggression inside a nightclub. One photo shows him aiming a punch at a member of the public, whilst another shows him throwing blows at a cushion. If Sharkstrike's attitude towards inanimate objects is anything to go by, Callum Killarney might have something to think about come fight day. Then again, maybe not.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

COUNTDOWN- 8 Days to go. OFFICIAL PROMO VIDEO RELEASE



The official promotional video for Bromageddon was released today. 29/11/12. Bonds will be Broken.

Saturday, 17 November 2012

Camp Sharkstrike- Interview


The first interview from Camp Sharkstrike as Will Jones talks one on one with BPTV, discussing his love for drugs and booze, his hatred of minors and why 'The Ginger Rapscalian' doesn't have a chance. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.

Camp Rapscalian- Interview



It's finally here. The interview you have all been waiting for from Camp Rapscalian has hit the web. Here TGR discusses his training techniques, his motive and why come 29th Novemeber, he's going to knock the Sharkstrike out. All footage courtesy of BPTV. 

Monday, 12 November 2012

The official fight poster for 'Bromageddon' was released yesterday as the countdown continues. William 'Sharkstrike' Jones vs Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney, only at the Tring Arena.

The realisation of a boxing masterclass finally dawned yesterday as the official fight poster for 'Bromageddon' was released to the general public. Along with the update, both fighters secured their chosen managers, in a day where the preparations for the bout got well and truly underway. Whilst The Ginger Rapscalian has chosen to go for a more raw and aggressive option in the experienced northern head of Nick White, William 'Sharkstrike' Jones opted for a slightly more professional choice in hiring the under 19's Bright Heavyweight Champion to guide him through his training. Owen Panter looks set to join team Sharkstrike, and will undoubtedly bring some tactical advantages to the camp, despite the fact that Jones seems hell bent on not doing a scrap of training. In a short outburst earlier on today he was quoted in saying "It's all or nothing for me. I'm going to go to knock him out in the first round, if that doesn't happen I'm pretty fucked." 

As if the main event wasn't already enthralling enough, the undercard was also finalised yesterday evening, throwing up some very interesting contests in the process. It reads as follows.

Fight 1- Patrick 'Frape' O'Connor vs Olly 'The Illustrated Blind Solid Silver Bitch' Rogers
Who wouldn't want to see an 18 stone man fight a child? The answer is no one. The first fight of the day is a controversial bout between a walking and talking tank in the form of O'Connor, and Rogers, who could quite easily have been cast as Bilbo Baggins in the new 'Hobbit' film. One of the most talked about match ups of the day, the opener promises to bring fireworks to an already action packed line up. With 'Frape's' size and stature, one deft hook could put and end to the fight as early as the first bell, but if Rogers can avoid being smashed into the ground for long enough, speed may become an ally. Verdict- The boxing equivalent of a bear chasing a goat around a small room. Expect to see Rogers running for his conciousness for the duration.


Fight 2- Detroy 'The Predicament' Henry vs Sunny 'Situation' Gujadhur
One of Dos all-Ranger fights, the second bout of the day will be contested by possibly the two most technically gifted fighters on the card. That doesn't say much, but both of these men have experience with gloves on, and if size is anything to go by, this fight should pack some weight behind it. With 'The Predicament' having an obvious height advantage standing well over 6ft tall, 'Situation' will be forced to work in order to get beyond the long reach. With both guys probably capable of producing flash-knockouts this one might just be the toughest to call. Verdict- Two big rugby guys, one small space and the intent to punch the living day lights out of each other. This one ends in a knock-out.


Fight 3- Matt 'Matt Green' Green vs Tom 'Vidic' Hancox
'The Battle of the West Country' throws together two Spartans in the third fight of the day. If Green can ensure that he doesn't manage to kill a member of the audience in his walk in to the ring, this bout will be an interesting one. With both fighters well up for knocking each other sparko, it could be a brawl from the off. Matt Green has the height and weight advantage from all that west country cider, but if we're honest, he's twice as likely to knock himself out as he is to floor his opponent. 'Vidic' on the other hand won't want to be beaten by a man known as 'Pvt. Bullshit' and will be doing everything in his power to try and prevent such an occurrence  Verdict- An explosive first round, with a number of calamitous accidents from Green's corner. A tight one that will probably go down to decision, but Vidic gets the nod purely based on stamina. 

Fight 4- Matt (No Nickname Yet) Grange vs Harry 'Moody' Brown
Everyone knows the score with these two. They're both big guys, they live with each other, and they will want nothing more than to get one over on each other. Do not be surprised to see a slug fest that goes right to the last in this one ladies and gents. With 'Moody' already having been compared to a pikey, he might well bring some raw aggression to the ring, but Grange stands just as tall, and will under no circumstances be ready to concede any ground. Another all-rugby bout that has the potential to be fiercely competitive. The only problem will be separating them at the end of the rounds. Verdict- With both men so determined not to be knocked out, this one goes to decision. Expect a bloody battle.

With potentially one more space on the undercard, it remains to be seen whether or not there will be anymore mouth watering match-ups. But do not worry, you get what you pay for, and with 'Bromageddon' that means the very best of friends going hell for leather over a number of rounds where the only way out is if you're knocked out. Exciting, I know.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

FIGHT COUNTDOWN- 18 Days to go. SCANDAL HITS

"Without the right training and preparation, no fighter can ever go on to achieve his true potential inside or outside the ring." - unknown (made-up)

You wouldn't be condemned for thinking that with the fight dubbed 'Bromageddon' having got the definite all clear, the much hyped pairing of William 'Sharkstrike' Jones and Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney would have perhaps heeded to those words and buckled down into an intense training regime. You wouldn't be condemned, but you would be completely wrong. With the blockbuster event having now been given a date of November 29th, its less than 3 weeks until the pair meet inside the ring to set aside their differences and quite literally beat the piss out of one another. As promised, the media team have been keeping tags on both fighter's camps to ensure that nothing goes un-documented. It seems though, that rather than hit the gym and begin to learn the basics of how to actually fight another man, both Sharkstrike and TGR are deciding to extend their breaks from their last fights to at least another couple of days, because 21 years isn't enough.
The Ginger Rapscalian tried to fend off our cameras
as we caught him stuffing his face with Blueberry muffins.

First off, The Ginger Rapscalian caused a McScandal when he was papped in Mcdonalds drinking a full fat milkshake earlier on today. The fiery Brummy has been the more openly confident of the two, but even so, a diet of fast food and muffins doesn't exactly promote complete faith for a man who was willing to state "I actually don't know if I can take a punch." As if that wasn't bad enough, Killarney tried to physically push the media team's cameras out of the way when he was snapped tucking into a blueberry muffin only hours after announcing the bout was going to take place. Whether or not the lively remarks and boyish insults are coming from a man who is genuinely pleased with the state of his body, or a cover up for someone shitting his already soiled pants, we have yet to find out.
McDickhead- Killarney is caught wolfing down
a meal in Mcdonalds, despite having only two
and a half weeks to condition his body.


Things aren't so sweet on the other side of the ring either, as William 'Sharkstrike' Jones, fresh from practically admitting that he knows nothing about physical contact unless it involves a girl laying on her back, was snapped by an unknown photographer looking slightly worse for wear. Perhaps the most alarming aspect of the image though is the fact that rather than spending his time promoting the fight or getting ready to go five rounds against a fierce rival, he has frolicked around with only booze and drugs for company. Earlier on today the picture surfaced, revealing Jones, who appears to be passed out, surrounded by medication and an empty bottle of alcohol. He has yet to comment on the picture, but if his actions towards the media thus far are anything to go by, you can expect him to maintain silence. 
Training hard- Jones sleeps off what appears to be a raging hangover as way
of getting himself mentally ready to face The Ginger Rapscalian on November 29th. 

On a brighter note, the bout titled 'BROMAGEDDON' seems to have found serious popularity with the general public. Whether this is because of their avid love for boxing or because they can't wait to see Killarney or Jones get knocked out cold and then have to beverage urine, isn't completely clear, but already as many as four box seat tickets have been sold, with the promise of many more to come.

To conclude, both men seem to be absolutely jack all to prepare for their fight, but the fact that the promotional picture will be uploaded later, might prove something of a stimulus.


Friday, 9 November 2012

BROMAGEDDON COUNTDOWN- FIGHT ANNOUNCED

It was announced earlier today that the long anticipated mega-showdown between silver spooned fighter Will Jones and uncouth midlands brawler Callum Killarney, will go ahead later this month. The pair, who have a running history of brash encounters, have announced to finally square off in the ring, with the loser set to forfeit his dignity by way of polishing off a pint of the victors urine.

Callum, affectionately known as 'the Ginger Rapscalian,' will concede three inches in height but believes it will not be an issue. Meanwhile his opponent, William 'Sharkstrike' Jones has already gone on record with his thoughts, citing "I want to see if he can really knock me out, I'm sick of this big man talk whenever he gets drunk." In retaliation, Killarney held no secrets as to how he would prepare for the bout, stating "Honestly, I'm not going to wank until the fight."

Now for a bit of background on the volatile pairing, as the two come from completely different cultural backgrounds. Whilst Jones has confessed to having "never punched anyone" in his life, Killarney appears to be the more experienced of the two, making sure Jones was aware "I broke someone's nose once, but it was by accident."

The camps of both fighters also appear to be at polar opposites in terms of how much they are willing to release to the press, with tight lipped 'Sharkstrike' refusing to speak to the media until he has "put his promotional team together." The Ginger Rapscalian on the other hand was more than comfortable with answering a few questions. When asked how he felt about the match-up he replied simply with "I'm quietly confident." Before then quickly adding, "I'm going to knock him out, and then tea-bag him."

With the bout scheduled by the BBA (Bucktringham Boxing Association) and set to take place in the previously un-used Tring Arena, which holds a capacity of almost three hundred, the fight is set to raise money for the end of Movember, with the obvious bonus of seeing the two slug it out over 5 three minute rounds until one of them is knocked out. The commissioner of the BBA, Patrick O' Connor had this to say when asked why it was these boxers that were thrust together; "well, because that little ginger prick is gonna knock the shit out of that wanker. It's going to go down in history. It will be better than the Battle of the Shatcave. Ginger is going to knock the fuck out of him, first round in the first thirty seconds."

Early signs suggest that it will be a £1 fee for spectators coming to watch, with all the money going to charity for men's testicular cancer. Keep tuning in to this blog for all the updates as the media team take you through the trash talk and childish banter, all the way up to the event itself, which promises to be an all time great.

Whether its to see Will get his lights smashed out of his head, or to see the look on Callum's face when he's necking a pint of posh piss, this ladies and gents, will be a spectacle you won't want to miss.
William 'Sharkstrike' Jones (left)and Callum 'The Ginger Rapscalian' Killarney (right) , square up for the first time before their blockbuster showdown later this month.